How to deal with self-sabotage in 4 simple steps

Self-sabotage is a result of twisted thinking.

I call it Warped Thinking.

This type of thinking is distorted and causes one to undermine themselves and fall short of their potential or to fail in realising their ambitions.

Self-sabotage is common, it’s frustrating and can be painful, if it becomes a habit.

The good news is that you can reverse self-sabotage.

You can do this by changing the THINKING that caused it in the first place.

Here is a simple but effective process you can use anytime you find yourself practising self-sabotage. I call it the WARP technique

W – WRITE down the thought you are having

Notice the thought that’s running through your mind and write it down. It might be something like…

“Why bother?”

“I won’t succeed anyway”

“Who do I think I am to get this done”

“I’m not smart enough to do this”

Hone in on the one thought that is holding you back. You will notice it as a small niggling voice in your head that won’t go away and that causes you to feel stuck.

A – ASK yourself is it really true.

Are you 100% sure that the thought is true? What evidence do you have for it? More often than not you will realise that you don’t have evidence to support your self-defeating thoughts. You will notice that you are over exaggerating the situation.

R – REPLACE it with a better serving thought

The realisation that the thought is not 100% true allows you to replace the thought with a better, more realistic one. One that will empower you and propel you into action.

P – PRACTISE the new thought consistently

Once you identify the new thought, think about it often until you believe it solidly.

You will be surprised what you can accomplish when you get rid of warped thinking using the 4 step W-A-R-P technique.

If you find this technique hard to do by yourself, let me know and I’ll guide you through it. Email me at

Reflections on the year gone by

Its end-of-year reflection time. So here’s an exercise for you.

Find 10 minutes when you can sit quietly and reflect on the past year.

Get your journal, note pad or computer and answer each of the following questions.

Don’t just answer them in your head, you have to write your answers down.

The act of writing helps you clarify your thoughts and anchors your reflection so you will remember them.

Here are the five reflection questions:

Your gratitude and pride reflection:

  1. What are the top 3 things you are most proud of accomplishing this year and for each, what are you specifically grateful for?

Your challenges and learnings reflection:

  1. What were the top 3 lesson-generating challenges you had this year and how did each make you a better person?

Your to-do reflection

  1. What things did you want to start but didn’t, or started but did not finish, that you wish you had?

Your desired goals reflection

  1. What are your top 3 goals for next year and for each, what will achieving the goal give you, make you feel and mean for you? For each goal, what would it mean if you did not accomplish it? Why is each goal important?

Your career / work / life / business reflection

  1. What do you want to be different in your career / work / life / business next year? Pretend it’s December and you’re looking back. How has your career / work / life / business changed?

If you answered all 5 reflection questions, you now know:

  • the progress you made this year and what to focus on next year
  • the hard things you faced this year and how they helped you grow
  • the unfinished business you will need to make time for or decide not to do at all
  • the goals you can set for next year
  • the things you want to achieve in your career / work / life / business